Bride for a price

Watching the northern region has its own surprises and occasionally you tumble across facts that seem completely out of the box. What caught my attention recently was the exploits of a con woman who was taking advantage of the extremely skewed sex ratio in Haryana.

The con woman, who was caught in Haryana sometime ago, was perpetually “marrying” people and then running away with the booty from her so called husband’s house. Taking advantage of the fact that men in the marriageable age, particularly those from the family of marginal farmers, find it extremely difficult to get a bride, the con-woman used to “marry” a person after taking amount ranging from Rs 1 lakh to Rs 1.5 lakh. This was not all. She used to decamp with valuables of the house when no one in her “marital” home was around.

She “married” five times but was caught when trying the trick for the sixth time in a row. The woman, with the help of her accomplices, had another trick up her sleeve. She used to threaten her “husband” that she will approach police for harassing her for dowry lest he part with an agreed amount and set her free. The hapless “husband” used to part with the money and that was the last he saw of his “wife”.

Given the social conditions prevailing in parts of rural Haryana, there could be several such con-women going around with their “business” without any problem. The “unfortunate” lady was caught even though she “married” in different sub-divisions of the state. The modus operandi was an eye-opener. In my career in journalism, which took me to different parts of the country over the years, I had never come across a situation where such a trick was used to con people.

Then there are numerous “marriage bureaus” in the mofussil and smaller towns which too are doing brisk business in the state. Such marriage bureaus do exist in other parts of the country as well but what is unusual is that most of them have eligible male bachelors on their records. While in other parts of the country, groom seekers seek the services of such bureaus, in these parts of the country – Haryana and Punjab – it is mainly the bride seekers who are ready to pay through their nose, to get a bride using the services of such match makers.

Haunted by the dubious distinction of being a state with the lowest sex ratio in the country at 877 females per thousand males as compared to the highest of 1084 males per thousand males in Kerala, the marriageable men of Haryana had never had it so bad.

While the rich farmers still manage to get wives for their sons, though with great difficulty, the marginal farmers and those on the edges find it extremely difficult to find a bride. No wonder in their desperation, they resort to buying brides as they have to have for somebody to do the domestic chores at house, look at their farms and animals and also to meet their biological needs and desire for progeny. Here, caste system goes for a toss. Nor is religion or the state from where the girl hails from given any consideration. “After wedding, women belong to the caste and the religion from where their husbands hail from,” goes the saying in the rural belt. The “bride purchasers” have another reason and logic. “Beggars are not choosers,” they say. And indeed in the marriage market, the eligible males in some regions of the states are beggars.

With such a demand, triggered by years of sex determination tests and resultant female foeticide, the traffickers had never had it so good in the state, known otherwise for its agriculture, sports and hardworking people. Recently, the Delhi police busted a gang that used to abduct young girls and sell them off to middle-aged men and their brothers in Haryana as brides.

But abduction is not the norm as poor families in several states and the north east willingly give away their daughters in “marriage” to these men in Haryana who either failed to find a bride despite a desperate search for several tears or are widowers. The families of these girls also get paid for the “brides” and the expenditure incurred in wedding. Most of such girls are illiterate or came from extremely impoverished backgrounds where even one meal a day is difficult to come by.

Haryana has also emerged as a major destination for trafficking of girls from the Northeast who are sold as brides in the state. Hissar has emerged as a prime destination for trafficking girls from Assam. In a recent meeting of the Home Ministry, police officials from the north-east flagged the issue.

The state government realises the gravity of the problem but cannot do much. It can come in the picture only if there is a complainant. The Haryana Government has implemented Centrally-sponsored Ujjawala scheme to prevent trafficking of women and children and for rehabilitation of the victims but this hardly comes in the way. The poor families of states like Jharkhand, Kerala, North East and others who have given their daughters as “bride” on their own accord due to financial consideration, do not and will not complain.

At a UNFPA sponsored meeting in New Delhi in December, where I too was a participant, a speaker pointed out that two Haryanvi words have more or less become a rural lexicon. These are Molki and Paro. Molki simply means a bride bought for a price while Paro means someone who has been brought from some other state. Almost everyone from the rural belt in the arid zones of the state, bordering Rajasthan and the interiors, had heard of these two words and knew a Molki or a Paro in their village. While some of these women had adjusted to their new life and learnt the local language, the younger ones, with different dietary habits and language, found it extremely difficult to cope up with the new situation in which they were suddenly thrown in.

As per Census 2011, Haryana had 877 females per 1,000 males. The last census in 2001 showed the sex ratio to be 861. The state ranks lowest among all 28 states on the sex ratio front. Against Kerala's high of 1,084 females per 1,000 males, Haryana reports a sorry number of just 877.

Ironically the sex ratio of 877 in Census 2011 is the highest since 1901. This perhaps explains why there are few females in the marriageable age in this northern state. Among the neighbouring states, sex ratio of Punjab is a poor 893 though Himachal Pradesh is impressive with 974.

With the Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PNDT) Act being enforced strictly and the state being watched closely, optimists insist that things could improve say after 10-15 years. But experts and gender analysts say that it could take at least 50 years to make up for the loss and maintain a gender balance and that too only when things continue to improve each passing month and year.

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